Has The Focus Of This Thread Shifted? Bloody Hell Yes!! Totally Pirates!!!

[sandysue]

Hi guys

New song: the title is second chances
V1

We met at a camp out, he was painfully shy

I just overlooked him, I never thought why

I could feel his soft presence, he was gentle and kind,

And quietly attentive, but I paid him no mind.

V2

In time I learned that his river runs deep

With talent and brilliance and a heart meant to keep

Somehow we lost touch, time passed us by

I still love and miss him, I ask myself why
V3

Last night he called me out of the blue

To see how I'm doing, he thinks of me too

My heart started racing, I couldn't quit breath

Just one second chance is all that I need

[michelew]

sandysue wrote:

Hi guys

New song: the title is second chances
V1

We met at a camp out, he was painfully shy

I just overlooked him, I never thought why

I could feel his soft presence, he was gentle and kind,

And quietly attentive, but I paid him no mind.

V2

Only later I learned that his river runs deep

With talent and brilliance and a heart meant to keep

But I no longer see him, time has gone by

I still love and miss him, he must wonder why
V3

Last night he called me out of the blue

To see how I'm doing, he thinks of me too

My heart started racing, I couldn't quit breath

Just one second chance is all that I need

Work is full on but I thought I'd stop for a really late lunch and drop by to see what was happening with your song. My gosh Sandy! You've been busy, busy, busy. It looks to me like you're developing two songs. Once you get the creative juices going you're off it seems.

I LOVE this new song. It's got some great emotion in it (the racing heart, feeing like you cant breath, wow great imagery) and pulls the listener in. (" ow! What's going to happen next? :huh: (it's an excited anticipation, the emoticons don't quite cut it).

I personally find I connect best with a song when it's got heart-felt emotion in it. As I understand it, that can be require you to expose vulnerabilities. But it's generally stuff that lots of us can relate to. Getting a second chance with someone you still think about is a dooosy of a great subject for a song. Nice one!

Shel

[sandysue]

Thanks Michelle

I was just trying to edit the first song and it turned into this one. I think I like this song better maybe. Let me know what you think. I've edited it so many times. See if you have the latest version. Let me know. I need my favorite pirates opinion. Of course Tom is our other favorite pirate. Talk soon

[michelew]

Sandy I liked lots about the last set of verses. I'm not sure if I saw the updated song before you did this radical make over. You'll need to post it again if you'd like me to compare. But I'm loving where this reworking is going. So I reckon just keep at it until you're happy with it. You may well have a few more stop-overs on this crazy song-writing journey before you land at your final destination. It's been a fun ride so far.

Got any melodies happening yet? A groove and tempo? It would be great to know what sort of feel you'll be trying to emulate.

Love it!

Hi ho hi ho. Nose back to the grindstone.

I'll check in again in a couple of hours. I imagine you'll be writing this song in your sleep. I hope you wake up with lots of good stuff to try out.

Read you soon.

M - ahhhhhhhbrrrrrrrrr

[willem]

Beautiful tekst on your songs Sandy, looking forward to the FOTW.

Willem

[michelew]

Sandy,

I'm sitting on the bus on my way home and I was thinking about you potentially walking around your house singing your song. I find that I often get melody ideas when I'm driving or walking to work or somewhere other than sitting in front of a mic at my computer. I have an app on my iPhone called Voice Recorder HD. I use it like a sketch book. If I'm standing at the bus stop and I get an idea for a rhythm or bass line or melody or lyrics or whatever, you can just sing the idea straight into your phone. Then at a later time you can just listen to the grabs, delete the rubbish ones and then use the ones that you like to develop your song a little more.

And don't even bother telling me you can't sing. I'm sure it's rubbish. It's all just confidence. And besides I'm not sure that spiders have ears.

I'm sure a little tape recorder would work the same way. It's fun.

Later Alligator.

Shel

[tombo1230]

sandysue wrote:

Hi guys

New song: the title is second chances
V1

We met at a camp out, he was painfully shy

I just overlooked him, I never thought why

I could feel his soft presence, he was gentle and kind,

And quietly attentive, but I paid him no mind.

V2

In time I learned that his river runs deep

With talent and brilliance and a heart meant to keep

But by then we lost touch, time had gone by

I still loved and missed him, I asked myself why
V3

Last night he called me out of the blue

To see how I'm doing, he thinks of me too

My heart started racing, I couldn't quit breath

Just one second chance is all that I need

Good work Sandy, it's amazing how things change through this process. Keep going!!

Tom.

[neverfoundthetime]

Pretty neat stuff sandy, well done!

[sandysue]

Thank you everyone for all of the encouragement. You're right Michelle. It's best to just record our ideas. I shot out of bed last night in the dark, in search of my pencil and paper, and nearly killed myself. I had no idea how risky song writing could be. I guess it's kinda like being a pirate.

I wrote the chorus on this last song. Here goes. I think it's going to be a campfire song with 3/4 timing. Anyway, see what you think:

Chorus

It seems I keep learning after the fact

When it's too late to take it all back

By the time I get older I'll be so smart

If only I were from the start

[willem]

sandysue wrote:

Thank you everyone for all of the encouragement. You're right Michelle. It's best to just record our ideas. I shot out of bed last night in the dark, in search of my pencil and paper, and nearly killed myself. I had no idea how risky song writing could be. I guess it's kinda like being a pirate.

I wrote the chorus on this last song. Here goes. I think it's going to be a campfire song with 3/4 timing. Anyway, see what you think:

Chorus

It seems I keep learning after the fact

When it's too late to take it all back

By the time I get older I'll be so smart

If only I were from the start

ArrrrrrYeah,3/4 time with some syncopation.

Arrrrrrr