FREE AMP to the best bulls--t artist

dennisg
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Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:34 am
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:30 pm

Okay, here's an unusual offer, but one I'm pretty sure you're going to like. I've got a practically brand-new Behringer AT-108 acoustic guitar amp that I'd like to put up for adoption. It's a 15-watt amp with instrument, mic, and CD inputs, a headphone jack, plus tone and volume controls. It's a sweet little amp that will reproduce the sound of your acoustic guitar beautifully. I bought it just a few weeks ago because I wanted an inexpensive way to dip my toes into the world of amplification. Now that I've done that, I can see that I like the results when I amp my Taylor. So I bought a new amp with more goodies on it. And now the Behringer is sulking in a corner of my room.

Here's the deal

I'm giving this amp away. Free. This is a short paragraph, isn't it? Does this paragraph make my ass look big?

What you'll do to get it

All you have to do to win this amp is reply to this post with a compelling reason why you should be awarded this amp. Please note the following:

1. I'm a humor writer by occupation. You've got to be pretty clever to make me laugh.
2. If you can't be clever, at least be passionate.
3. If you can't be passionate, at least be desperate.
4. There is no requirement that a single word of what you write must be factual or verifiable. Lucky you.

Is everyone eligible to win?

In a word, no. There are a few restrictions:

1. The contest is open to regular TG forum contributors only. You must have at least 10 posts under your belt in order to be considered. I don't care about your karma points.
2. Your shipping address must be in the good ol' U.S. of A. While I would love to be able to ship this cute little amp to Chas in New Zealand or to Willem in Holland, it's just not financially practical to do so. (Sorry, boys. You don't seem like you need another amp anyway.)
3. One entry per person. To say the exact same thing yet another way, no multiple entries.
4. TotallyGuitars.com employees and their immediate family members are ineligible to participate in this contest. It's not like one of them was going to win anyway.

Prepare to dazzle with your B.S. skills

Be funny. Be creative. Keep it under 100 words. If you're successful, you'll win a sweet little amp. If you're not, you'll win my gratitude for participating.

Oh, one more thing: the contest is open for one week: from now until midnight (Pacific time) on December 18th. I'll announce the winner shortly after that.

Ready, lads and lassies? Get crackin'.

- Dennis (in Seattle)

* Don't you just hate any text that follows an asterisk? You just know it's going to be filled with bad news, disclaimers, and obtuse legalisms. Why should mine be any different? So let me just say the following: DennisG (aka Beefy D) is the sole arbiter of this contest. I'm sure my wife Jamie will likely read the entries, and possibly pee a little in her pants at some of the absurdities, but only DennisG will decide who actually wins. And while TotallyGuitars.com is aware of this contest and may, in fact, promote it, they have absolutely nothing to do with deciding who wins. Depending on my state of sobriety, that may or may not be a good thing.


Chasplaya
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Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:41 pm
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:37 pm

I passionatly and desperately want this Amp, I have over 2000 posts so got more than 10 hmmm does this mean my chances improve 200fold, thats got to offset a little thing like mega postage costs, i'll even through in a new pair of pants for your missus


User avatar
neverfoundthetime
Posts: 48
Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:14 pm
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:49 pm

Nice try chas.... wasn't 100 words though!


TGMatt
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Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2009 3:14 pm
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:56 pm

Bump for a great competition...Spoke with Dennis today he is a great guy and this is a great competition to build on the spirit of this community, congrats Dennis..

So get some entries in


tovo
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Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 4:35 pm
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 8:08 pm

I know I can't win but if I did win then I would gift the amp on to someone who is in the USA so I'm writing anyway. Plus I have exactly that amp myself. OK end of disclaimer, start of entry:

Tovo clumsily turned off his alarm and stumbled over the cat as he made his way sleepily to the music room. He was sorry for hurting the cat but also confused as he didn't own a cat. This would be the morning he nailed Norwegian Wood, he felt sure of it. He took his trusty Taylor from it's case and launched straight in, glad that he had remembered to start the camera. The notes were sweet, no buzzing, no mistakes. He finished with a flourish as his wife entered the room. "Check this out" he said excitedly grabbing for the camera. "It's perfect...magnificent!" "My best work ever" he cried. His wife watched with barely concealed boredom. "Can't hear a thing" she said finally. "Why don't you get one of those Behringer amps?"


AndyT
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Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:06 am
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Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:42 am

I think I'm caught between a technicality and a rock. I live in Hawaii. While it IS the USA, its still considered overseas. Am I eligible?


TGMatt
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Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2009 3:14 pm
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Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:57 am

Ok all Here is an Update...Dennis was going to post it but I think he may have gone to bed..which I should be as well..But because we have had a couple of questions..

Here is a couple of extra pieces ..

This is not a TG competition, it is a graceful and thoughtful Gift from Dennis...But to help out a touch here are some additions..

Anyone can enter anywhere on the planet

TG will pay the shipping to anywhere in the COntintental US..to help put..

If you win it anywhere else..you have two options..

(a) Give it to someone in the COntinental USA...
(b) pay the diffrence in shipping and TG will fund the balance as a guesture..


All of Dennis's other rules apply..he will be judging..etc etc ..

Ok all ??..so lets see those entries..Tovo your now in ..


AndyT
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Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:06 am
Status: Offline

Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:35 am

Ok, here we go....
===========
I play on Thursday nights with some friends from a different church. Jim keeps saying "We're getting the band back together!" to anyone that will listen. We all plug in and have fun making as much noise as we can, but we have trouble keeping together unless someone stops playing to sing. Yeah, theres a thought. :ohmy: One of the guys has a Mic, but no amp that will handle it. This amp would be perfect for us. We could hear the singer and we would all benefit from it. It would be a huge blessing to us and to anyone in earshot of us. B)
===========
And Chas isn't the only one with over 2000 posts. LOL


haoli25
Posts: 0
Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2009 7:06 am
Status: Offline

Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:20 am

TGMatt wrote:
Ok all Here is an Update...Dennis was going to post it but I think he may have gone to bed..which I should be as well..But because we have had a couple of questions..

Here is a couple of extra pieces ..

This is not a TG competition, it is a graceful and thoughtful Gift from Dennis...But to help out a touch here are some additions..

Anyone can enter anywhere on the planet

TG will pay the shipping to anywhere in the COntintental US..to help put..

If you win it anywhere else..you have two options..

(a) Give it to someone in the COntinental USA...
(b) pay the diffrence in shipping and TG will fund the balance as a guesture..


All of Dennis's other rules apply..he will be judging..etc etc ..

Ok all ??..so lets see those entries..Tovo your now in ..



Matt, you da' MAN! Thanks. :)



Bill


willem
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:53 am
Status: Offline

Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:35 am

Beefy,, i'm sorry there are no ships to Europe, hope you find somebody that want make some noise......


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