Thought on frequent occurance; Flub ups when playing before others

frybaby
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:00 pm

I am curious if others have the same problem I have with flubbing up my guitar playing when playing before others.

I am not talking playing in public before an audience; I’ve never felt that confident.

99% of my playing is on done in the privacy of my home, just for my personal enjoyment an stress relief, but when I have worked on a song and got comfortable with it, except for a few minor clunkers and friend happens to ask me to play it, I inevitable screw up.

Some times I play it so poorly it’s like the first time I’ve played it, even though I play it for month with very few mistakes.

This happens almost every time I play in front of some one.

Its not like it’s a total stranger or anything, some time it a guitar buddy, I just want to show him what I have accomplished, but when I start to play, it’s a disaster.

I can usually get it accomplished after quite a few tries,, but the first few endeavors are embarrassing, to say the least.

I know I can play it through, since I’ve done it numerous time, but noooooooooooooooo, not when some is looking on.

What brought this question on is recently I had work on a guitar part (for months) had it down, at least in my mind, and called a guitar playing pal on the phone, ask him to listen to what I had learned and tried to play it over the phone, and completely made a fool of my self.
Is this unique to me, and why does it happen, any guesses?


willem
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:19 pm

I know exactly what you mean and have that also sometimes,, a guitar friend told me once how cool artists play in front of audience and sad,,they do only their thing and think they were alone they close in theyre mind that there is a audience and do only there thing,,,so when you try again,,think that you are alone in the room and concentrate on what you CAN!!!!


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Music Junkie
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:29 pm

LOL...... :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

I know exactly what you are talking about! My wife will have friends over and she'll tell me to play something. I try to worm my way out of it, cause I really don't like to embarrass myself, but it never fails. I end getting talked into it and then wish I would have just run for the hills.... B)

I am beginning to think that the trick is to just play as often as possible in front of others so it becomes less stressful. Now that is easier said than done, but if we are to get better in those situations, they need to be more normalized....

J


BigBear
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:43 pm

I'm right there with you buddy! I can give a public speech to a 1000 people (and have) with no problem but give me a guitar in front of another person and I'm a basket case.

I think this is 99.9% self-confidence. The fear of making a mistake and the fear of humiliation can be overpowering.

I recently starting playing some jam sessions with some people at work, all of whom are strangers to me. Several are much better players than I am. After a few songs the lead guy says "Rick, what have you got?". I panicked. Every thing I had learned just went out the window. I thought, let's play something really simple, a Campfire song maybe. I tried but I flopped badly. I couldn't sing because my throat was swollen shut.

But the next time we jammed I was more comfortable. When I was called on I knew what I was going to play. Not great yet but better. Later when the audience was gone I played some TARGET songs and the few guitarists that hung around were impressed. One guy even said "You really know a lot of cool songs!"- Was he talking to me? ME?

Performing in front of others is a huge personal goal for me. I know I'm not very talented musically but I also know I play better than most people do. But the only way I've found to do it is to do it over and over again. Take my lumps, learn and get back on the horse. Self confidence can't be acquired any other way. Good preparation helps but it isn't the whole answer.

So don't feel alone. I envy those that can jump out and play their best stuff regardless of the audience! I suspect I will always suffer from performance anxiety.

Good question frybaby! :cheer:


Lavallee
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:48 pm

This is an important question

I am sure that you heard : when I am in the driving range I am hitting far and straight but on the course I cannot play squat.

In the driving range like when practicing alone, we do not feel the pressure of failure. The professional golfers (and all the other professional athletes) have all kind mental coaching.

Why couldn't we have the same thing, some kind of mental exercises that Neil being a professional musician could share with us? I think this could a lesson of some sort. Maybe get a specific teacher specific on the subject. I bet this would be very popular.

Marc


BigBear
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:58 pm

Lavallee wrote:
I am sure that you heard : when I am in the driving range I am hitting far and straight but on the course I cannot play squat.

In the driving range like when practicing alone, we do not feel the pressure of failure. The professional golfers (and all the other professional athletes) have all kind mental coaching.

.

Marc

Do they play golf in Canada? What do they use- hockey sticks with different lofts on them? rofl!

Sorry Marc, I couldn't resist!! :silly:


Lavallee
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 1:01 pm

You are right Rick, If you watch the movie Happy Gilmore, you will see a true representation of the Canadian golf. I have a set of Sherwood clubs myself.

Marc


RicksPick
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 1:38 pm

Interesting question!

Love the answers, the same pain here too,every time I turn on a video camera or asked to preform,lol
But I have a practice guitar at work, I play normally in earshot of only one other person at a time (I hide in back of ambulance), but found myself with an audience of 4 the other day and felt OK and didn't preform to bad, that was a big jump for me. I have to thank TG and you guys for the confidence and the tools not to suck to bad, lol.

RicksPick


wrench
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 3:07 pm

What great question. I am comfortable at public speaking, my thinking gets sharp in an emergency, and as a professional competitor I was known for the viciously stoic and nearly automatic destruction of my competition. Guitar is funny, though. I rarely play cleanly in the presence of an audience or a camera even though I feel completely relaxed and confident. This is kind of weird, too - I am very comfortable in front of a webcam, but far less comfortable in front of an SLR or a camcorder. I think Neil had the best advice for this - don't try to play it better than you ever have before, just try to play it as good as you can. All I need to do now is figure out how to apply Neil's advice!


haoli25
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Mon Jun 07, 2010 3:14 pm

That video camera can appear to be a shotgun pointed at YOU at times! One trick that many professional broadcasters use is that they place a picture of a loved one behind the camera or microphone. It does have a calming effect on many people.

Years ago, a young woman came to work at one of the radio stations I was associated with. She was just terrible and could not get over her case of the NERVES (or Mic fright). I told her about this technique and she decided to try it. She came back and asked me if it had to be a picture of a loved one. I told her no. The next day she came to work with a huge picture of Tom Selleck. The change was IMMEDIATE and DRAMATIC!!! :) She was great! She and that picture of Tom Selleck went on to make a LOT of money in broadcasting!



Bill


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