Giving Children the opportunity to learn

tovo
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Thu Aug 12, 2010 6:09 pm

I have 3 boys and an adult daughter. My oldest son plays drums (very lazily) and my middle son guitar and clarinet (also very lazily).

I wish I had a dollar for every time a member here at TG has mentioned that he/she wishes their parents had made them work harder on their music.

I have given the boys every opportunity to play but I don't push them. If they don't practice I don't make them. When they play I encourage them with my comments. But I don't push them at all.

I suspect my approach is largely correct, but I welcome other opinions. I mean, we make them do their homework! Should we treat music in a similar way?

Some of you have young kids, some adult kids, some no kids. Whatever you circumstance, I welcome your opinion.


Lavallee
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Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:46 pm

Great question(again) Tony,

I have twin boys of 17 years old and 19 year old daughter. My daughter does not care about music besides listening to it. The boys have been taking lessons but mainly plays together and with their friends (which is their greatest motivation). At the beginning I have tried to teach them, but unless they ask for it (that you teach them) I found that it was way better with a teacher who does not involve the parent kid relationship. They also preferred heavy metal stuff which I do not care too much. I tried to get them play something together but it did not work out. So I am patient as I hope it will happen eventually. I am just happy they love music, if I am not part of it for now, so be it, but at least we have a common subject of discussion.

So as you said Tony, you cannot push them for a hobby. Homework, cleaning the room, helping in the house, you need to control, but what they do for fun is their call (up to a certain point of course). I just hope they will not do the same mistake I did and they will not stop. They have a summer job and they both bough a new instrument (one guitar and one bass guitar). When you choose your instrument and work hard for it, it should be an incentive to continue.

Marc


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Music Junkie
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Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:02 pm

Tony:

My oldest son (Dominick) started playing the Playskool Xylophone when he was 18mos and we noticed he would play the tunes from the commercials. So at 3yrs old we enrolled him in the Children's Music Academy here in Ventura County. He took 4yrs of classes there and learned to play the keyboard/piano pretty well. Getting him to practice was like pulling teeth! We had to fight with him every night. He would eventually do it and then he would be happy that he practiced, but the "thought" of practicing was what he did not like. When he graduated from there, he asked if he could start taking guitar lessons with me. I was so stoked that I asked my instructor what he thought about an 7-8yr old starting to take lessons. He said that would be fine and so Dom started taking lessons with me. Right now he is concentrating on sight reading (very, very boring, but important). I find that if I promise him some time at the end of practice each night to jam around and learn some new chord shapes and play a little ear training game we have, that he is always more willing to dive in. There have been a few times that I have offered him the option to quit, telling him that if he is not going to practice, that I am not going to shell out the money for lessons, but he always says he wants to stay with it, and so far he has.

The other night I heard him humming My My Hey Hey and asked him if he wanted to learn it. He said yes, so we mess with it a bit each night at the end of his practice. I find that he improves so much faster than I do..... :silly:

I also know that I thoroughly enjoy jamming around with him. I just hate it when he points out that I missed a note..... :)

J


wammer
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Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:07 pm

MJ
Kids are like sponges they just soak it up so much faster than us at our age. They have a tendancy to learn even when they are not paying attention.

Tony I have a friend who son was "fired" from his piano lessons by his teacher cause she said he was wasting his time and hers LOL I laughed so hard when he proudly told me this he was around 12 years old at the time..


michelew
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Fri Aug 13, 2010 2:17 am

Tony,

As with most things in life, I think you've got to lead my example. I tried to encouraged Sage to play a number of instruments and we paid for lessons, but none of them stuck mostly because she hates practicing. She is naturally good at lots of things and I think she just expects to be able to do the things she like to do (to a point). Any way, my point is that while I tried to encourage her when she was little, I never really played any instruments at that time. Now she often sees me practicing guitar and has started to learn it too. I still haven't been able to get her to check out the TG lessons, but she can see me putting in the time and the progress I'm making, so I'm hoping that my example will encourage her to put in the time too.

So if you boys see you applying yourself and enjoying yourself while doing it (or the fruits of your labour at least) then that is one of the best things you can do for them. Jamming with them MJ-style is a great idea too.

You can still encourage them to practice, but the thing you don't want to do is to make it tedious for them. So it sounds like you're on the right track

Michele


AndyT
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Fri Aug 13, 2010 2:54 am

I think the largest problem any musician, teacher or student, will ever encounter is how to make constructive practice to be enjoyable and even fun. Answer that one and you will create a new level of desire for everyone that wants to learn.


smips65
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Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:26 am

Great Subject!

I think one of the fundamental issues is having parent(s) that play something as well.
My children were always surrounded by my guitars, and me playing them. The oldest son and youngest daughter "caught" the bug, the oldest daughter took up dancing. :blink:

The day to day exposure is what sparked their interest in music, and both of them play far better than I. :blush:


Now we're working on the grandaughter. Image


jayswett
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Fri Aug 13, 2010 5:41 am

Like the rest of you, I would love it if my kids would learn to play a musical instrument and/or sing. My strategy has been to take a low profile lead by example sort of approach. They can see that it a) is alot of fun to learn an instrument, and b) it takes work to become proficient at that instrument.

I have not been pushing them in a musical direction, but have been considering taking a slighly more aggressive approach about encouraging them to take up the piano or guitar.


AndyT
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Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:23 am

Well, there are some studies that show that people that learn music have higher overall IQ levels than people who do not learn music. You could require a music class of your school age children as part of their normal schooling. You will be doing them a favor.


willem
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Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:58 am

Atleast,there it is the childeren,,thanks Tony,my story!! I bought a guitar(the spanisch one)for my son,he was goin to study to be a teacher(basic school),i know they must do some music and chose a instrument(i was a fraid of the flute,so i bought a guitar for him),and then it happen,he bought him self a xylophone,,for my thoughts a pity but not realy becouse of that i started myself with that guitar,,now do i have two grandchilderen a boy(12) and a girl(3),when they come to visit us or sleep over the weekend i alway's play some stuff the girl was in the beginning very a fraid of the guitar(big thing with noise),but after a while she stole a plectrum and was hitting my guitar very hard..lol,my grandson thats diffrent,its now that he takes intresting in the guitar,,but i'm afraid of teaching the wrong way,,so i was thinkin and thinkin how to do,,then i came on they idea of writting a song together about his summer/camp vacation then i could throw in some theory as well and i must say we are on our way,,i give him a guitar and a tuner to,after a week he called ''Opa,i broke a string while tuning'',, i was afraid there for cause we have to learn that as well,,he was turning and turning i geuss,,hope the intrest stay's,while we were writting the song he said to me that he found an other note nicer then i wrote..lol..that's the way...goodluck with all your childeren,,don't pusch,,motivate them i think...


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