OSTRICH MAN - ORIGINAL TUNE SEEKING INPUT

buddy
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Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:35 pm
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Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:52 pm



Here is a satirical tune I wrote called Ostrich Man. It combine a somewhat whimsical melody with some contrasting deeper lyrics to enhance the satire of the song. I would sure appreciate some constructive input on this from you all to help move it along.

Lyrics are below, Thanks Bud !

Verse 1
Hello I am the Ostrich Man
Sticking my head in the sand
I like it down inside my hole
Don’t want to know what I don’t know

Chorus – 1
I fear too much to want to see
Why won’t you just let me be
Nothing there I want to find
I like the dark and being blind

Verse 2
I don’t feel enough to care
What is happening up their
People live and people die
Let me hold onto my lies

Chorus - 1

Bridge
I feel the ground roll and shake
Something brushes against my legs
Should I pull out me head
Am I living in what is dead

Verse 3
Hello I am the Ostrich man
Sticking my head in the sand
I can’t tell hate from love
Don’t want that freedom up above

Chorus 2
Stalin, Hitler Moutse Tung
See what their philosophies have done
Twenty million butchered souls
Who should have kept their heads inside their holes

Bridge

Verse 4
Hello I am the Ostrich man
Sticking my head in the sand
I’m not feeling brave
I like my head inside my grave

Chorus 1


jayswett
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Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:44 pm
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Mon Oct 28, 2013 3:07 pm

Buddy,
I liked this song alot. I won't pretend that I could say anything intelligent about how to improve it, although I have no doubt that others on TG can do that very thing. Good luck, and keep up the good work.
Jay


cosmicmechanic
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Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:39 am
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Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:27 pm

Hey buddy,

Kudos for your effort on writing lyrics ! ... and then testing them on us helpless TGers :laugh:

I listened twice so far. Nice variations on the vocals ... keeps up interest from start to finish.

Your melody is catchy, and lightens the kinda heavy message you are delivering ... that's a good thing, for sure.

The only reservation I have is that this character seems so very self-aware ... how could he describe himself in this way and remain so dense ?

But maybe I just need to listen some more ? Anyway, songwriting is a noble endeavor. I'd be very happy to see how this evolves.

Pierre


buddy
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Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:35 pm
Status: Offline

Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:02 pm

cosmicmechanic wrote:
Hey buddy,

Kudos for your effort on writing lyrics ! ... and then testing them on us helpless TGers :laugh:

I listened twice so far. Nice variations on the vocals ... keeps up interest from start to finish.

Your melody is catchy, and lightens the kinda heavy message you are delivering ... that's a good thing, for sure.

The only reservation I have is that this character seems so very self-aware ... how could he describe himself in this way and remain so dense ?

But maybe I just need to listen some more ? Anyway, songwriting is a noble endeavor. I'd be very happy to see how this evolves.

Pierre
Pierre my friend, thanks for the feedback on this tune. As far as the character being self-aware, this is song is trying to point out the struggle of becoming aware and the fears and other issues that stop us from walking down the road of awareness. Glad you picked up on this struggle as that is the whole point of the song. Thanks again for the input, Bud


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