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It is two o'clock at night, we lie in bed
You asked whether I have meaning in a cigarette
In a hotel in a city where no one hears us
Where nobody knows us, and nobody bothers us
On the floor lies an empty bottle of wine
And garments that could be you or me
A twilight, the radio soft and this night has everything
What I expect of a night

It is a night that you normally only see in films
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautiful song
But tonight I relive it with you

It is a night which I thought him that I would never experience
I'm still awake, and I staring at the ceiling
And I think how the day started long ago
It simply, there Vandoor go with you
Not knowing where the journey would end
Now I am lying here in a city wildvreemde
And I have just the night of my life
But unfortunately, there is again light through the windows
Although the world for us

tonight has stood still
It is a night that you normally only see in films
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautiful song
It is a night which I thought him that I would never experience
But tonight I relive it with you

The film is a scene put
But one song remains only in words

It is a night that you normally only see in films
But this night with you, lifelike
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautiful song
It is a night which I thought him that I would never experience
But tonight I relive it with you

And I love just yet but yours
And I love just yet but yours

willem wrote:

It is two o'clock at night, we lie in bed
You asked whether I have meaning in a cigarette
In a hotel in a city where no one hears us
Where nobody knows us, and nobody bothers us
On the floor lies an empty bottle of wine
And garments that could be you or me
A twilight, the radio soft and this night has everything
What I expect of a night

It is a night that you normally only see in films
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautiful song
But tonight I relive it with you

It is a night which I thought him that I would never experience
I'm still awake, and I staring at the ceiling
And I think how the day started long ago
It simply, there Vandoor go with you
Not knowing where the journey would end
Now I am lying here in a city wildvreemde
And I have just the night of my life
But unfortunately, there is again light through the windows
Although the world for us

tonight has stood still
It is a night that you normally only see in films
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautiful song
It is a night which I thought him that I would never experience
But tonight I relive it with you

The film is a scene put
But one song remains only in words

It is a night that you normally only see in films
But this night with you, lifelike
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautiful song
It is a night which I thought him that I would never experience
But tonight I relive it with you

And I love just yet but yours
And I love just yet but yours

Hi Willem, I get the sentiment of your song. It's great that you are expressing yourself in this way. Song writing is just brilliant!
If I were to critique your English, which I think is what you are asking for, then I would have to say it could flow better and be more poetic.

For instance the first line could read: Lying here in bed I hear the town clock strike twice, (or something like this)
For me the next line doesn't make sense, sorry, I'm not sure what you are trying to say here? The next couple of lines are fine except I would say you are over using the word us, maybe you could change 'and nobody bothers us,' to and no one seems to care or tonight no one knows we exist. 'On the floor lies an empty bottle of wine,' is good English, but too straight forward for me in a song, maybe you could say something like, An empty wine bottle lies discarded on the floor, but this might even be too wordy but it gives you slightly more information in a storytelling context. 'A twilight,' is not good English. but I think I know what you mean. You don't get any sense of why it has been mentioned, although I think you are setting the mood maybe?. The bit where you say you are 'reliving.' should this be just living as it is happening in the present?. This sentence doesn't make good English: 'It is a night which I thought him that I would never experience.' If you remove the words 'him and that' the English works. So that's a little bit of your song discussed so far, but it's pretty late here, or actually it's early morning so I am off to my bed as it is about to be two here also Hope this helps and is what you were looking for. Maybe someone else will pick this song up and give you a completely different viewpoint. or if I get a chance I will continue on.

Regards,

Tom N.

Tom N.

@ Tom,,first i must give you a litlle sorry,,,i did'nt write it self,,it is a song by a dutch Artist and performend in Dutch,,and i like the song very much,,i was on a site were i could translate from Dutch to Englisch and then i got curious how the Englisch speaking people around here would understand it,,but i must thank you for taking it up,,,now i try to do it self and curious to your understand...so i try the first verse and one chorus..





You ask if i want a cigaret
It is two o'clock at night and we lie on bed
in a hotel in a city where no one hears us
Where nobody knows us and no one interrups
On the floor an empty botlle of wine
and garments that could be yours or mine
it's dark,the radio soft and this night has everything
What i expect of a night...


It is a night that you only would see in a movie
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautifull song
It is a night which i thought i would never go through
but tonight i got it with you



Tom,,how is it this way.....thanks in advange,,,oh i did'nt try to sing it with the englisch words yet..

willem wrote:
[quote]@ Tom,,first i must give you a litlle sorry,,,i did'nt write it self,,it is a song by a dutch Artist and performend in Dutch,,and i like the song very much,,i was on a site were i could translate from Dutch to Englisch and then i got curious how the Englisch speaking people around here would understand it,,but i must thank you for taking it up,,,now i try to do it self and curious to your understand...so i try the first verse and one chorus..





You ask if i want a cigaret
It is two o'clock at night and we lie on bed
in a hotel in a city where no one hears us
Where nobody knows us and no one interrups
On the floor an empty botlle of wine
and garments that could be yours or mine
it's dark,the radio soft and this night has everything
What i expect of a night...


It is a night that you normally would see in a movie
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautifull song
It is a night which i thought i would never experience
but tonight i got it with you



Hi Willem, it's already better. One thing, I think the first line is maybe in the wrong place, (but maybe not) as personally I would start this by setting the scene, which starts at the second line at present, but the first line could work the way a close up works in movies, if you see what I mean. Basically the first line is a little clumsy as is line two, they don't flow. They are two statements. I would say line two isn't the best English either. It starts to take off nicely after that IMHO. The line, 'but tonight I got it with you,' is a bit odd to the point of being funny. I can't honestly see this song being sung with a straight face, a bit like a bad Eurovision song. Something has been lost in the translation I fear. I've been trying to put a tune to this, but often when you write a song you have to modify the words and lines to fit. Some people get the tune first and add words later, some people put both together or even use fake words as placeholders, the Beatles did this I believe. I wonder how Abba managed to do it so well. Genius talent I expect. If the tune is good, the words could be rearranged or changed to keep the sense of the song and the sentiment intact. I don't think that would be too difficult. Hope this helps. Very interesting thread Willem.

tombo1230 wrote:

willem wrote:

@ Tom,,first i must give you a litlle sorry,,,i did'nt write it self,,it is a song by a dutch Artist and performend in Dutch,,and i like the song very much,,i was on a site were i could translate from Dutch to Englisch and then i got curious how the Englisch speaking people around here would understand it,,but i must thank you for taking it up,,,now i try to do it self and curious to your understand...so i try the first verse and one chorus..





You ask if i want a cigaret
It is two o'clock at night and we lie on bed
in a hotel in a city where no one hears us
Where nobody knows us and no one interrups
On the floor an empty botlle of wine
and garments that could be yours or mine
it's dark,the radio soft and this night has everything
What i expect of a night...


It is a night that you normally would see in a movie
It is a night that will be sung in the most beautifull song
It is a night which i thought i would never experience
but tonight i go through it with you



Hi Willem, it's already better. One thing, I think the first line is maybe in the wrong place, (but maybe not) as personally I would start this by setting the scene, which starts at the second line at present, but the first line could work the way a close up works in movies, if you see what I mean. Basically the first line is a little clumsy as is line two, they don't flow. They are two statements. I would say line two isn't the best English either. It starts to take off nicely after that IMHO. The line, 'but tonight I got it with you,' is a bit odd to the point of being funny. I can't honestly see this song being sung with a straight face, a bit like a bad Eurovision song. Something has been lost in the translation I fear. I've been trying to put a tune to this, but often when you write a song you have to modify the words and lines to fit. Some people get the tune first and add words later, some people put both together or even use fake words as placeholders, the Beatles did this I believe. I wonder how Abba managed to do it so well. Genius talent I expect. If the tune is good, the words could be rearranged or changed to keep the sense of the song and the sentiment intact. I don't think that would be too difficult. Hope this helps. Very interesting thread Willem.

Oke Tom,,,i don't know if it is ment has a sentimental tune(maybe), i think it is a story and a big sing along when he perform this,,,,,looking to the first two lines i ddid'nt mixed them up,,looking to the Dutch version they are in the right order....and how is the last line of the chorus now??

Hi Willem, 'But tonight I go through it with you', might be ok as long as the words fit the tune. It's quite difficult to judge without the melody. Have you tried singing these words with the melody? To 'go through,' something suggests to me an ordeal of some kind. It doesn't sound elegant enough if it is to be thought of as a pleasant experience. What might work better would be:

'It's a night i thought I would never experience,
but tonight I find I'm sharing it with you. (Maybe difficult to sing)

or alternatively:

'It's a night i thought I would never have
but tonight I'm sharing it with you. (A bit easier to sing, but does it fit the melody?)

The line that says 'what I expect of a night' Might sit better as 'just what I expect of a night'.
The first two lines you mentioned I'm sure were not in the wrong place, just weren't working because of the translation.

Hope this helps.

Tom N.

What I will say Willem is looking at the words alone in isolation won't work too well. You have to keep refering back to the tune. There are many examples of odd sentences working with a melody. That's why you have to play the tune and sing the words. You will know if it works right away.

Tom N.

Hey Willem!

After the few first lines I was like: 'huh? This sounds familiar!' and of course this is one of Guus Meeuwis' songs , wich was a húge hit in Holland! I actually agree with you, it is a nice song, the mood is nice, not too serious, not sentimental or funny, well a summerhit indeed!

So you want to translate it in english?.....hmmm...not so easy, I guess you will have to change the lyrics here and there just to get it like Tom is trying to say here...but I'm very curious with what you will come up eventually and if you're able to sing it of wich I'm sure you will!

Cheers

Ness

nesh16041972 wrote:

Hey Willem!

After the few first lines I was like: 'huh? This sounds familiar!' and of course this is one of Guus Meeuwis' songs , wich was a húge hit in Holland! I actually agree with you, it is a nice song, the mood is nice, not too serious, not sentimental or funny, well a summerhit indeed!

So you want to translate it in english?.....hmmm...not so easy, I guess you will have to change the lyrics here and there just to get it like Tom is trying to say here...but I'm very curious with what you will come up eventually and if you're able to sing it of wich I'm sure you will!

Cheers

Ness

..

I know Vanessa,,its not easy to get the same feel in Englisch has it is in Dutch,,but that can make this thread intresting,,,i understand Tom,,,so i must crawle in his skin,,also not easy..

Hi Willem

Great Live Version With Many Happy People - Great Guitar and Piano Sound Too


Although I wouldn't have a clue what the song's about without a translation............................I like the sound of the song in Dutch.....
Sometimes I think when a song is translated to another language, it doesn't sound the same.
The words don't roll together the same in another language..... losing the song feeling / meaning............. if you know what I mean.
Generally, I like translation so I can understand the song but prefer to hear it in the language it's been written in.

I found this slightly adapted translation, it's at the bottom of the discussion here:
Het is een nach Translation

You ask if I feel like a cigarette
- It's 2 in the mornin’, we're lying in the bed
- In a hotel, in a town, where we’re unknown
- Yeah we’re strangers here, so we’re left alone

- Empty bottle of wine lying on the floor
- Clothing that could be mine or be yours
- The sunset last night, with the radio low
- The night had everything, that a perfect night could hold

- It was a night, a night you’d expect see in movie scenes
- and it was a night, that words are writt’n about for people to sing
- It was a night I never thought I would ever get to see
- But last night we lived our dreams you and me

- I'm staring at the roof, still awake in the bed
- I think of that day when you and I met
- ‘twas easy, it just seemed so natural
- our journey began where it would end who could tell

- Now I'm lying here in a wild, strange town
- Just had the night of my life and I’m still coming down
- But alas, the dawn shines onto the walls
- Even though for us the world has stood still

- It was a night, a night you’d expect see in movie scenes
- and it was a night, that words are writt’n about for people to sing
- It was a night I never thought I would ever get to see
- But last night we lived our dreams you and me

- But a song’s just words and melody
- And movies are make believe
- But last night with you was reality

- It was a night, a night you’d expect see in movie scenes
- and it was a night, that words are writt’n about for people to sing
- It was a night I never thought I would ever get to see
- But last night we lived our dreams you and me

- It was a night, a night you’d expect see in movie scenes
- and it was a night, that words are writt’n about for people to sing
- It was a night I never thought I would ever get to see
- But last night we lived our dreams you and me

- Yes, last night we lived our dreams you and me
- And you’re still the only love for me
- And you’re still the only love for me