New Goal this year?

tombo1230
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 1:40 pm

dennisg wrote:
I'm in the unusual position of not knowing if I'm going to be alive tomorrow. And I know that's a pretty surprising thing to read, and I also know that some background might be necessary to understand how I got to this place.

About 4 years ago, i was stricken with a condition called pancreatitis. Until I got sick, I had absolutely no idea what a pancreas does. In short, a pancreas produces insulin and the digestive enzymes your body uses to process food. When you have pancreatitis, the "exit" duct gets blocked and prevents the digestive enzymes from leaving the pancreas, causing the pancreas to start digesting itself. The damage that pancreatitis can do to one's body runs the gamut from "almost no effect" to "fatal." Mine was nearly fatal and my pancreas is 20 percent destroyed.

After I got home from a 15-day hospital stay, I made a decision to be more careful with the people I allow into my life. Maybe you can understand that. When you don't know for sure if you're going to be alive tomorrow, you don't want to spend your time with people who can't seem to have your best interests at heart. So I slowly started thinning the herd, so to speak, dropping the friends who do me harm. Fortunately, I have a wife who supported me in this, as she does in almost everything I do.

I wasn't going to respond to this thread, except that things changed for me when, last Thursday, I was ambulanced to the hospital with another attack of pancreatitis. I have to tell you, in addition to the phenomenal pain, the scariest thing is knowing now that I can get pancreatitis at any time, no matter how well I take care of myself, no matter what physical condition I keep myself in, no matter how carefully I monitor my diet. I'm resigned to the fact that this is what my life looks like from now. Not knowing anything for certain. So I thought I'd better get some goals out there. Quickly.

I have three fundamental goals this year. The first is to get even more enjoyment out of the guitar than I got the year before, and I think if I do more open mics, play with more friends, and learn some songs that just give me the shivers the first time I play a few opening notes, I'll have no problem reaching that goal. The second goal, related to pancreatitis, is to do an even better job of eliminating the people from my life who betray, fail to support, act cowardly or steadfastly narcissistic, or any of several other things that add up to not having my best interests at heart. And the third goal is to use even more of my resources (time, money, effort) to help those who really need it.

I don't know how much life I have remaining to me and, truthfully, it's a little unnerving knowing that I could last another 25 years or I could be gone tomorrow. Neither extreme would surprise me. But it's the not knowing that makes me want to use my remaining time to enjoy guitar more, surround myself with healthy people, and be an even better support system than I've been in the past.

Have a happy new year.
Wow Dennis,
this kinda puts things into perspective. I'm sorry you are having to deal with such an awful condition, but I am glad you have shared it here with your TG friends.
I really hope that opening up like this can help you cope better in some way. I think your best way forward is to be as positive and optomistic as you can be and from reading your words I am sure that is the path you are heading along.

Enjoy your guitar playing this coming year, I always say 'music is therapy,' because it makes you feel good. :)


All the best,

Tom N.


wrench
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 2:56 pm

Dennis,

I know that unnerving feeling. My doctors told me I had zero days to live - 1,069 days ago. I honestly understand the kinds of things going through your head right now. It was that news that motivated me to learn guitar. I found the guitar to be great comfort, and I found I had new way of determining what was important, much like you are experiencing right now.

But I have good news for you, my friend. I believe the will to live trumps medical statistics. A very dear friend told me years ago he knew how long someone would live. When I asked him how long I would live, he answered "as long as you really want to". It is true for me now, and in the twenty or so years since he said that, I have seen many, many other cases also to be true. I welcome your case to that list.

So assert your will to live, refuse to yield to statistics, and play guitar every day with your heart and soul. Because in the final analysis, the folks who never heard terminal news don't know how long they will live either. Live strong, my friend.

Dan


AndyT
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 4:23 pm

Dennis,

That is a bummer. I understand where you are coming from. But I'd like to point out that not one of us really knows if we will be here tomorrow. We may not even make it thru the day. Anytime I 'plan' something the words 'God willing' are always included, even if unsaid.

How would you live if you knew you only had 30 days to live? Tough question. But I think its one we should all look at and take very seriously. Nickleback may not be a very great band, but their song, 'If Today Was Your Last Day' is a really great opening shot. What do we value? What is really important in life? What do we want to be known for? One of the exercises at our college is to write your own obit. A bit morbid in a sense, but it really helps drive the point home. I believe it all boils down to relationships and how we steward them. Its certainly not about 'things'.

I know you are not 'religious' and hey, that's your choice. I'm not religious either. Frankly, I tend to despise religion. Yeah, hearing that from a Minister. LOL We can discuss it later if you like. But I would urge you to look at one person you may have pushed out of your life. We both know who he is.

All of that said, I feel bad that you've been struck with this disease. I wish there was something I could do to fix it, but that's not my department. If there is anything I can do for you, then let me know. I'm happy to help anyway I can.


takhak
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 4:46 pm

Dennis G,
Best of luck with your health and new goals. Starting with your 3rd goal will help immensely
with your 2nd. Good luck and happy new year.


willem
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 5:16 pm

Dennis,thats hard to hear and I can't find the good words to say to you,,I read all the other posts and lets say i want to say what they!!! said


Hope you stay here for a very,very long time..

Willem


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daryl
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:31 pm

dennisg wrote:
....
I have three fundamental goals this year. The first is to get even more enjoyment out of the guitar than I got the year before, and I think if I do more open mics, play with more friends, and learn some songs that just give me the shivers the first time I play a few opening notes, I'll have no problem reaching that goal......
Dennis, Please please please upload this enjoyment (open mics, playing with friends, and those' shivering' songs). I think it would be beneficial all around.


dsmarion
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 7:48 pm

Dennis,

I am so sorry to hear you're having such serious health issues. I know I wonder about my own health a lot (mostly it is self-inflicted by years of smoking, drinking, eating the wrong kinds of food, not exercising, that kind of thing). But you're right about the "not knowing" part because we could all go at any time, life is precious and so enjoy it while you have it. It sounds like you have the right mental attitude and I hope you enjoy the next year and attain your desired goals.

Scott


rdaltry
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Mon Dec 26, 2011 11:03 pm

i mean no disrespect to the serious bent that this thread has taken - my prayers are with you dennis - but here are my rather simple goals musically for 2012:

practice/play more
suck less
play more consistently and confidently
have fun
share the joy that music brings me with others - especially my 2 sons - as often as i can

....not necessarily in that order... 8-)

rd


dsmarion
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Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:13 am

rd,

Admirable goals that pretty much reflect what I see as my goals too (we all would like to suck less that's for sure lol).

Scott


BobR
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Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:50 pm

Dennis,

I have no words other than keep the faith. Keep playing and doing what you enjoy most.

Bob


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