Songwriting/Lyric Challenge (Only Yesterday)

thereshopeyet
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Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:55 am

I remember reading this article before....

Rolling Stones - Satisfaction

Dermot


tombo1230
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Mon Mar 10, 2014 8:31 am

michelew wrote:
Tom - I really like your story. There's both a scenario that lots of people can relate to as well as mystery. Are you going to put some music around it?

Shel
I think I will let it sink into my subconscious for a day or two and at some point I will see if there is really a song there. If there is I will let you hear it.

Thanks everyone it has been fun! Great idea Daryl :)


Tom N.


michelew
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Mon Mar 10, 2014 9:13 pm

Tom,

I sure hope you get inspired. It would be cool to hear what you come up with. You may surprise yourself and find that changing your songwriting process allows you to come up with something a bit different.

Fingers crossed.

M


michelew
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Mon Mar 10, 2014 9:33 pm

thereshopeyet wrote:
I remember reading this article before....

Rolling Stones - Satisfaction

Dermot
I enjoyed reading that Dermot. Thanks

M


thereshopeyet
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Tue Mar 11, 2014 8:16 pm

Daryl

You never responded to my suggestion for your verse ?

;)


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daryl
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Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:36 am

thereshopeyet wrote:
Daryl Wrote:
I remember Friday night sleep overs and swinging in the park
And our tasty week-end Dim Sum feasts
Our Sunday open-house tours and laughing ‘til dark
And it still seems like only yesterday in a heart beat
I've been thinking of small changes to this verse Daryl and came up with this:

I remember Friday night sleepovers and swinging in the park
The clink of our glasses with tasty Dim Sum feasts
Sunday hospitality tours and laughing 'til dark
It seems like only yesterday in a heart beat.


Dermot
Sorry Dermot. I meant to get back to you and plum forgot. The "clink of our glasses" would work. But the "hospitality" doesn't because that means something different than the "open-house" I was referring to.


thereshopeyet
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Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:59 am

Daryl

our glasses - I liked because of also sounds like hour glasses a reflection of time and feast time.

Hospitality - I had mixed feelings about too, I was trying to replace it with one word.

Are you happy with Open - House?


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daryl
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Wed Mar 12, 2014 7:59 am

thereshopeyet wrote:
Daryl

our glasses - I liked because of also sounds like hour glasses a reflection of time and feast time.

Hospitality - I had mixed feelings about too, I was trying to replace it with one word.

Are you happy with Open - House?
Clever with the hidden "hour glass" reference.
Am I happy with "open-house"? Happy enough.
Overall, I'm not too happy with my entire lyric. But I am learning! Thanks.


thereshopeyet
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Wed Mar 12, 2014 9:03 am

Daryl Wrote
Overall, I'm not too happy with my entire lyric. But I am learning! Thanks.
Daryl
I'm learning too and I think will be forever ! :dry:

It's been a fun experimental topic.
I'd be interested to see where your song goes from here.

Why not write down a heading (whatever you want) for each part to your song.
The take the idea you've got and place the same idea down again fresh a summary
of what you want to say under each heading.

Verse1
lnm;fmv;'mv';fm#

Verse 2
pmjb#fmb#mb#dmb

Chorus 1
slkdngvl;kv;n

etc....etc....

Dermot


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daryl
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Wed Mar 12, 2014 9:09 am

thereshopeyet wrote:
Daryl Wrote
Overall, I'm not too happy with my entire lyric. But I am learning! Thanks.
Daryl

It's been a fun experimental topic.
I'd be interested to see where your song goes from here.

Why not write down a heading (whatever you want) for each part to your song.
The take the idea you've got and place the same idea down again fresh a summary
of what you want to say under each heading.

Verse1
lnm;fmv;'mv';fm#

Verse 2
pmjb#fmb#mb#dmb

Chorus 1
slkdngvl;kv;n

etc....etc....

Dermot
That's a reasonable idea. I'll try it with my next "masterpiece". Thanks.


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