Just before the funeral services,
the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Thought For The Day
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' I'm four and a half!' you're never thirty-six and a half. you're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ... You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony ... YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed.
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50.
And your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would.
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday.
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.' I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!
'How old are you?' I'm four and a half!' you're never thirty-six and a half. you're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ... You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony ... YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed.
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50.
And your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would.
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday.
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.' I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!
Inner Strength is....
* If you can start the day without caffeine.
* If you can get going without pep pills.
* If you can always be cheerful ignoring aches and pains.
* If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles.
* If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it.
* If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time.
* If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when through no fault of yours something goes wrong.
* If you can take criticism and blame without resentment.
* If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him.
* If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend.
* If you can face the world without lies and deceit.
* If you can conquer tension without medical help.
* If you can relax without liquor. thought for day
* If you can sleep without the aid of drugs.
* .....Then you are probably the family dog!
* If you can start the day without caffeine.
* If you can get going without pep pills.
* If you can always be cheerful ignoring aches and pains.
* If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles.
* If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it.
* If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time.
* If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when through no fault of yours something goes wrong.
* If you can take criticism and blame without resentment.
* If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him.
* If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend.
* If you can face the world without lies and deceit.
* If you can conquer tension without medical help.
* If you can relax without liquor. thought for day
* If you can sleep without the aid of drugs.
* .....Then you are probably the family dog!