Hi guys
I wasn't sure where to put this thread, so I thought off topic is best place, although I'm sure its subject matter could easily be applied to playing guitars.
I look at this site and I see a lot of people with a positive mental attitude, people who are "go-getters", goal-orientated, driven people.
My question to those people is, how did you become that way, is it part of your nature, is it something you had instilled in you by family, or friends, or is it something you can learn?
I'm asking this mainly because I seem to go through periods where I play guitar for hours every day, and other times- like now, where I've played once in about a month- I'm very stressed (not at the guitar), and utterly un-motivated (if such a word exists)- this doesnt just happen with guitar playing, it extends to my life as a whole. I can't imagine I'm the only person who has these peaks and troughs/troffs??, so I suppose what I'm asking is, how do you get from the bad times to the good times, from the negative to the positive? It's something I'm really struggling with at the moment, and thought I'd see what you folks on here do if and when you are in such a position.
I'm also interested in how people stay positive once they are in that state of mind. I know there are a few people on this site who are very interested in this area, so I'm looking forward to seeing their replies.
Thanks
Joe
Positive Mental Attitude
Hoi Joe,,i think i understand you,,most of the way you don't think positiv?? you are not drivin to do something you want?? Well you must speak to yourself and go on it..
I'm a cab driver and brings handicapt people to activity centrums,,they are people that were not handicapt born but they have get it in life and man you must know what i see what these people do to go on,,,life is not standing still.....thats whats me brings to positiv mind and enjoy what i want to do...
I'm a cab driver and brings handicapt people to activity centrums,,they are people that were not handicapt born but they have get it in life and man you must know what i see what these people do to go on,,,life is not standing still.....thats whats me brings to positiv mind and enjoy what i want to do...
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neverfoundthetime
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:14 pm
- Status: Offline
Well said Willem! Karma to you man, for your work and attitude.
Well, although I deal with this subject every day for my living, there is no recipe, it's more of an art and a question of habits. Yes you can learn to find that better thought, that thought that takes you up rather than down and you can master this process the same way you master a scale or chord progression. You can build habits which help you and replace the habits of thought that hinder or hurt you. Choice is involved as is responsibility.
I am not the go-get-it-type you refer to. I'm not gung ho. These types will have less trouble DOING things as that is their modus operandi. I'm more of the reflective type who has to get his ass into gear and get moving most times, and that is not always easy. You may be the same. Whatever, there is a way and you can find it. The get-up-and-go type will tell you: just do it! and they are right. But I know that that JUST part can be difficult. I learned how to handle the JUST part (i.e. the part where you are thinking about doing it but didn't start yet and are wondering why you're still standing there NOT doing it) by running every day for a while. Whatever the weather, whatever my mind told me: Its cold! I'm tired! Let's do it later! Let's not do it! I found that for the first 12 mins my mind was ranting at me still about how I needed to turn back and go home and stop. I had to find a way to deal with it so I just told myself: We'll talk about it in the shower, when we get back, after the run! If I got through that mental barrier, I always found after 15 mins I could open up my stride and go like the wind for another 15 mins or however long I planned. Suddenly not tired or cold or whatever. I was just doing it. So anything you can do to get you to having DONE IT is good. It gets easier but it is never really effortless. You just know how to handle it and you grow the (positive) habit. The important part is GETTING IT DONE. Yes, discipline is involved in developing that habit. But as discipline is taking responsibility and taking responsibility gives you power and makes you feel good about yourself and carries you forward (and, and, and) you get to like that.
Inaction is a sign of depression, getting stuck. Getting moving again will resolve it.
Another reason why I used running is that you cannot feel bad in the shower after a half hour run (any activity which is pumping your heart and making you sweat over time, not too fast! but over time). The physical and psychological effects are fantastic.
Most people I know, don't stay in this get-up-and-go state. They move in and out of it. But if you've learned to get into it, you can do again any time. You just have to deal with the JUST part again!
Now, I could go on for days and maybe this isn't helping. I guess you should just know that even the most positive person here, has doubts, fears and knows defeat and knows phases of not doing it. Yes some people are better at it than others. But you will do just fine as long as you keep picking yourself up and keep going, however slow, just keep it going, you'll be fine. Thought of the day: Even falling on your face is moving forward! If you can laugh at that... you're doing just fine!
Well, although I deal with this subject every day for my living, there is no recipe, it's more of an art and a question of habits. Yes you can learn to find that better thought, that thought that takes you up rather than down and you can master this process the same way you master a scale or chord progression. You can build habits which help you and replace the habits of thought that hinder or hurt you. Choice is involved as is responsibility.
I am not the go-get-it-type you refer to. I'm not gung ho. These types will have less trouble DOING things as that is their modus operandi. I'm more of the reflective type who has to get his ass into gear and get moving most times, and that is not always easy. You may be the same. Whatever, there is a way and you can find it. The get-up-and-go type will tell you: just do it! and they are right. But I know that that JUST part can be difficult. I learned how to handle the JUST part (i.e. the part where you are thinking about doing it but didn't start yet and are wondering why you're still standing there NOT doing it) by running every day for a while. Whatever the weather, whatever my mind told me: Its cold! I'm tired! Let's do it later! Let's not do it! I found that for the first 12 mins my mind was ranting at me still about how I needed to turn back and go home and stop. I had to find a way to deal with it so I just told myself: We'll talk about it in the shower, when we get back, after the run! If I got through that mental barrier, I always found after 15 mins I could open up my stride and go like the wind for another 15 mins or however long I planned. Suddenly not tired or cold or whatever. I was just doing it. So anything you can do to get you to having DONE IT is good. It gets easier but it is never really effortless. You just know how to handle it and you grow the (positive) habit. The important part is GETTING IT DONE. Yes, discipline is involved in developing that habit. But as discipline is taking responsibility and taking responsibility gives you power and makes you feel good about yourself and carries you forward (and, and, and) you get to like that.
Inaction is a sign of depression, getting stuck. Getting moving again will resolve it.
Another reason why I used running is that you cannot feel bad in the shower after a half hour run (any activity which is pumping your heart and making you sweat over time, not too fast! but over time). The physical and psychological effects are fantastic.
Most people I know, don't stay in this get-up-and-go state. They move in and out of it. But if you've learned to get into it, you can do again any time. You just have to deal with the JUST part again!
Now, I could go on for days and maybe this isn't helping. I guess you should just know that even the most positive person here, has doubts, fears and knows defeat and knows phases of not doing it. Yes some people are better at it than others. But you will do just fine as long as you keep picking yourself up and keep going, however slow, just keep it going, you'll be fine. Thought of the day: Even falling on your face is moving forward! If you can laugh at that... you're doing just fine!
Hey Joe,
Without knowing more details, it's hard to be very concrete in making suggestions, but I can think of a couple of things that might help. When people are stressed and feeling down, I believe they are often feeling overwhelmed and somewhat hopeless in seeing their way out of whatever their burdens are. Try not to focus on the big picture of what is difficult in your situation. Break problems or obligations into small bites. This can provide you with reachable goals to relieve stress and feelings of discouragement. It also gives you the means to have a number of small successes to make you feel better about the situation or about yourself and can boost your incentive to do more (work or fun). This isn't very profound, but I am not a naturally upbeat, energetic person either, and it is sometimes helpful to me. Hope it will be of some benefit to you.
Without knowing more details, it's hard to be very concrete in making suggestions, but I can think of a couple of things that might help. When people are stressed and feeling down, I believe they are often feeling overwhelmed and somewhat hopeless in seeing their way out of whatever their burdens are. Try not to focus on the big picture of what is difficult in your situation. Break problems or obligations into small bites. This can provide you with reachable goals to relieve stress and feelings of discouragement. It also gives you the means to have a number of small successes to make you feel better about the situation or about yourself and can boost your incentive to do more (work or fun). This isn't very profound, but I am not a naturally upbeat, energetic person either, and it is sometimes helpful to me. Hope it will be of some benefit to you.
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neverfoundthetime
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:14 pm
- Status: Offline
That is spot on and top notch advice, mmmbldo! Setting goals will get you focussed and moving and motivated. And if you have to eat an elephant, it's better to cut it into small portions and eat a bit at a time and not look at the big picture!This isn't very profound, but I am not a naturally upbeat, energetic person either, and it is sometimes helpful to me. Hope it will be of some benefit to you.
When I am feeling down and too stressed (series of bad news in a row for example). I make sure to isolate myself (cut down appointment for a couple days) and try to sleep as much as I can. I find that the extra sleep brings extra energy to deal with some of the small adversities which seems much bigger when you are tired. That leaves you with plenty of energy to deal with the real problems.
Marc
Marc
heyjoe,
I don't want to presume I know exactly what you're experiencing or how to fix it. So I'll just make this observation: a lot of people who go through extended periods when they feel unmotivated are really describing a symptom of depression. They feel unmoved by events around them and don't get much pleasure out of formerly pleasurable things. They feel stressed. Their worst enemy is a list of tasks to be accomplished. They feel handcuffed by a single simple chore that would be ridiculously easy for someone else to handle -- like making a single phone call.
I mention this because it's something I, and my entire family, suffer from. Again, I don't want to assume you do, too. But your description of your feelings and behavior sounds very familiar to me.
Aside from the various medications and therapies available to people with depression, I've always found the single most important thing I can do is this: get something done. The goal is to feel like you're accomplishing something, that you're not powerless. In my case, I go to the gym three times a week. Instead of looking at it as yet another chore, I see it as a step toward helping me live a little longer, so that I can spend more years with my wife. Also, I play the guitar every day. Again, not because I feel obligated to do so, but because the fact that I can make pretty music come out of this wooden box enlivens me.
I love the metaphor about eating an elephant. It's a great image.
For people in my condition, just getting through daily life can feel like an overwhelming mountain to climb. So I make sure I don't think about the mountain. I just look at the next step, appreciating the fact that I can put one foot in front of the other.
Good luck.
- Dennis (in Seattle)
I don't want to presume I know exactly what you're experiencing or how to fix it. So I'll just make this observation: a lot of people who go through extended periods when they feel unmotivated are really describing a symptom of depression. They feel unmoved by events around them and don't get much pleasure out of formerly pleasurable things. They feel stressed. Their worst enemy is a list of tasks to be accomplished. They feel handcuffed by a single simple chore that would be ridiculously easy for someone else to handle -- like making a single phone call.
I mention this because it's something I, and my entire family, suffer from. Again, I don't want to assume you do, too. But your description of your feelings and behavior sounds very familiar to me.
Aside from the various medications and therapies available to people with depression, I've always found the single most important thing I can do is this: get something done. The goal is to feel like you're accomplishing something, that you're not powerless. In my case, I go to the gym three times a week. Instead of looking at it as yet another chore, I see it as a step toward helping me live a little longer, so that I can spend more years with my wife. Also, I play the guitar every day. Again, not because I feel obligated to do so, but because the fact that I can make pretty music come out of this wooden box enlivens me.
I love the metaphor about eating an elephant. It's a great image.
For people in my condition, just getting through daily life can feel like an overwhelming mountain to climb. So I make sure I don't think about the mountain. I just look at the next step, appreciating the fact that I can put one foot in front of the other.
Good luck.
- Dennis (in Seattle)
Hey Joe,
That's a tough place to be. I think most people experience this at some point in their lives and the key for snapping out of it is different for everyone. Here's what works for me:
I volunteer at a Therapeutic Riding Center every week. From the moment I walk through the door, nothing is about me, it is all about the people I serve. Their time with the horses is usually the highlight of their week. To overcome physical and/or mental barriers and be able to ride a horse gives the a real sense of accomplishment, makes the feel able, as it should. But when I leave it is all about me. It's hard to be sad or depressed or even unmotivated knowing I've helped make their lives brighter and more fulfilling.
I don't have the exact recipe for you Joe, but I sincerely hope you find it! Nancy
That's a tough place to be. I think most people experience this at some point in their lives and the key for snapping out of it is different for everyone. Here's what works for me:
I volunteer at a Therapeutic Riding Center every week. From the moment I walk through the door, nothing is about me, it is all about the people I serve. Their time with the horses is usually the highlight of their week. To overcome physical and/or mental barriers and be able to ride a horse gives the a real sense of accomplishment, makes the feel able, as it should. But when I leave it is all about me. It's hard to be sad or depressed or even unmotivated knowing I've helped make their lives brighter and more fulfilling.
I don't have the exact recipe for you Joe, but I sincerely hope you find it! Nancy
Their have been some truly great responses here...For me I decided that the blog I was going to carry was going to be specifically related to this side of life, like Chris I have been in the Industry of "motivation and success", I have read thousands of books, and visited at teh feet of gurus around the world..rather than say I have the answers I will just post some simple actions that may support you ..I hope they are useful
(1) Chemical - I used to think that weak people only could not control their thoughts, truth is that checmicals imbalances are real, usually caused by a terrible diet, or one that doesn't look terrible on the outset but is in fact causing a massive chemical issue within, especially where the brain neurotransmitters and those that create seratonin etc are concerned (almost all antidepressents try and stimulate seratonin production), So step one...look at hard at the diet...look to supplement your diet with natural based herbs and plants and fruits (superfuits), not chemically created vitamins...this is a topic that I have studied for years and would take books..but start somewhere basic and know that as you age the chemicals that create the "good feelings" can disipate or transfer between neurons can , so helping to recalibrate health is the first point, and has many side benefits..
(2) Sun - S.A.D. exists because of lack of vitamin D, and other isolated issues, get out in the sun , let it hit your eyelids, and if your stuck indoors get a natural light that mimics the sun (they are cheap and available)
(3) Create a menu of things that lift your spirits...If you have a written list a series of choices you can easily turn to that you know makes an impact then it makes it easier to jump to one...have ones that are 30 seconds, to ones that are hours so you can do anything from having a mini break to contracted periods away..so maybe its 30 seconds of meditation, 1 minute with your eyelids closed in the sun, playing guitar for 10 minutes, listening to Supertramp breakfast in America, riding horses...Whatever...make the list long, spend teh time doing this and getting creative...options make life easier
(4) Rid yourself of any negative influences , whether it is people , objects (that old picture may be a bad anchor), to anything you can...keep looking for conscious moments when you realise that something specific had a negative impact on you...and look to purge it from your life
(5) Add positive influences, find people who have an outrageous sense of adventure and happiness, who find the best in the worst, find a plant that makes you happy and has a particular odour you like and have it near you , along with pictures and quotes, be conscious about stacking stuff and people into you environment continuously, you will find that it also tends to squeeze out the negative above..
(6) Hypnosis - this may be controverisial for some, but hypnosis is guided thoughts, nothing more, the best athletes in the world use it, it can have dynamic effects over time in some of these cases...start with something basic (try wendi.com - No affiliation)
(7) Watch movies..yep...all the answers to the world are in these mediums...their have been many studies now, that suggest that if you watch certain movies, (about to get woo woo on ya now) that your vibration level rises...you are inspired, your biochemistry responds...so why the heck not stack that ...throw out the garbage most people watch...and go rent ghandi and dances with wolves, and anything that lifts the spirit..by the way as sub fact - highest tested vibrational movie is The BIg Blue - about free divers...
(8) read books - they do the same as movies lifting consciousness, but they also can teach you the riddles to the universe from people who have been their and thought about that...just this topic alone many millions of books have been written..when you start down that path doors open, and answers for you specifically will crystalise
(9) this is basic basic basic ....but do what you want , focus on what you want to do that gives you great feelings..this is the ultimate feedback loop, dont do what doesnt...its reall that simple..
(10) play the guitar , visit my blog, visit the forum, show up at the live shows.....
So their you have it a very quickly typed response it may jog you or anyone else here..Im a firm believer in actions only - the feelings follow, so if you want to feel love , be loving, if you want to feel positive , be positive to others..Start with this list and b4 you leave the idea commit to doing one thing from it by a certain time...
Hope that is useful
Cheers
Matt
(1) Chemical - I used to think that weak people only could not control their thoughts, truth is that checmicals imbalances are real, usually caused by a terrible diet, or one that doesn't look terrible on the outset but is in fact causing a massive chemical issue within, especially where the brain neurotransmitters and those that create seratonin etc are concerned (almost all antidepressents try and stimulate seratonin production), So step one...look at hard at the diet...look to supplement your diet with natural based herbs and plants and fruits (superfuits), not chemically created vitamins...this is a topic that I have studied for years and would take books..but start somewhere basic and know that as you age the chemicals that create the "good feelings" can disipate or transfer between neurons can , so helping to recalibrate health is the first point, and has many side benefits..
(2) Sun - S.A.D. exists because of lack of vitamin D, and other isolated issues, get out in the sun , let it hit your eyelids, and if your stuck indoors get a natural light that mimics the sun (they are cheap and available)
(3) Create a menu of things that lift your spirits...If you have a written list a series of choices you can easily turn to that you know makes an impact then it makes it easier to jump to one...have ones that are 30 seconds, to ones that are hours so you can do anything from having a mini break to contracted periods away..so maybe its 30 seconds of meditation, 1 minute with your eyelids closed in the sun, playing guitar for 10 minutes, listening to Supertramp breakfast in America, riding horses...Whatever...make the list long, spend teh time doing this and getting creative...options make life easier
(4) Rid yourself of any negative influences , whether it is people , objects (that old picture may be a bad anchor), to anything you can...keep looking for conscious moments when you realise that something specific had a negative impact on you...and look to purge it from your life
(5) Add positive influences, find people who have an outrageous sense of adventure and happiness, who find the best in the worst, find a plant that makes you happy and has a particular odour you like and have it near you , along with pictures and quotes, be conscious about stacking stuff and people into you environment continuously, you will find that it also tends to squeeze out the negative above..
(6) Hypnosis - this may be controverisial for some, but hypnosis is guided thoughts, nothing more, the best athletes in the world use it, it can have dynamic effects over time in some of these cases...start with something basic (try wendi.com - No affiliation)
(7) Watch movies..yep...all the answers to the world are in these mediums...their have been many studies now, that suggest that if you watch certain movies, (about to get woo woo on ya now) that your vibration level rises...you are inspired, your biochemistry responds...so why the heck not stack that ...throw out the garbage most people watch...and go rent ghandi and dances with wolves, and anything that lifts the spirit..by the way as sub fact - highest tested vibrational movie is The BIg Blue - about free divers...
(8) read books - they do the same as movies lifting consciousness, but they also can teach you the riddles to the universe from people who have been their and thought about that...just this topic alone many millions of books have been written..when you start down that path doors open, and answers for you specifically will crystalise
(9) this is basic basic basic ....but do what you want , focus on what you want to do that gives you great feelings..this is the ultimate feedback loop, dont do what doesnt...its reall that simple..
(10) play the guitar , visit my blog, visit the forum, show up at the live shows.....
So their you have it a very quickly typed response it may jog you or anyone else here..Im a firm believer in actions only - the feelings follow, so if you want to feel love , be loving, if you want to feel positive , be positive to others..Start with this list and b4 you leave the idea commit to doing one thing from it by a certain time...
Hope that is useful
Cheers
Matt