Clean Musician/Music Joke of the Day

jim56
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Sun Apr 25, 2010 12:35 pm

A fingerstyle guitarist (FG) is walking on the beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle. The cork falls off and out pops a genie.
"Thank you Oh Master for releasing me from my prison of the last 300 years" the genie exclaims, profusely grateful to the FG. "And because of your kindness" the genie continues, "I will grant you 3 wishes". "But I must caution you" alerts the genie.
"And what's that?" asks the FG.
"Well, you can wish for anything you desire, but whatever you ask for, every electric guitarist (EG) in the world will receive double" explains the genie.
"Not a problem" says the FG.
"Very well then, what shall your first wish be, my Master"
"$10 million in small bills" says the FG unhesitatingly.
"Good choice, Master" and poof!! right there on the beach are piles and piles of $10s and $20s. And of course every EG in the world now has $20 million in their account.
"And your next wish, Master?"
"A brand new Taylor PS12C Presentation Series Guitar and presto! right there on the beach is the most beautifully inlaid and superb sounding acoustic guitar he'd ever seen. And of course every EG now has 2 of these guitar's in their living rooms; knowing of course that they aren't going to know what to do with one, much less two.
"You've made excellent choices thus far, Master; what is your final wish?" The FG thinks for a minute, rubs his chin a moment, squints at the bright sky and says, "You know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney" ...


Chasplaya
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Mon Apr 26, 2010 5:55 am

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully.
"I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge.

"Twenty years, take him down"


jim56
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Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:50 pm

An electric guitar player comes to the doctor and complains about a serious deterioration of his memory. He especially has a hard time remembering correct time changes and is afraid to lose all his gigs. Since the doctor can't find the cause, he asks the electric guitar player to leave behind his brain for a week in his lab for more detailed examinations. After seven days the guitar player fails to show up, and even after 2 more weeks there's no sign of him. Finally the doctor runs into him on the street, grabs him and asks: "Excuse me, but your brain is still waiting for you to stop by and pick it up, so why don't you show up?" The electric guitar player says, "Well, I think you can keep it; I finally switched to drums..."


wadestar
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Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:35 pm

Nice but you scared the shit out of new commers


jim56
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Sun Aug 29, 2010 6:47 am

A man goes on vacation to a lovely tropical paradise. As he is getting off the plane, he hears rhythmic drums in the distance. He figures it's just part of the "native atmosphere" for the tourists like himself and starts going about enjoying his vacation.

By the end of the first day, though, he has noticed that everywhere he goes, no matter where it is, he can hear the drums. He decides to learn what the significance might be, so he asks the waiter serving him at dinner, "What's up with the drums? I hear them every where I go on the island. What do they mean?"

The waiter simply looks him in the eye and says, in a very doom-and-gloom sort of voice, "Very bad when drums stop." and refuses to say anything more about it.

For the rest of his vacation, he hears these drums everywhere he goes, night and day, without stop. Every time he asks somebody about it, they either don't know anything more than he does, or they simply say, "Very bad when drums stop."

Finally, on his last day, as he is checking in at the airport, he finds a local and pleads with him, "Please, you have to tell me what those drums mean! I must know! It's driving me crazy!", to which the local replies, "Oh, very bad when drums stop."

The man's eyes go wild and he finally asks the right question, "What happens when the drums stop!?"

The local, rather frightened by the man's wild eyes and intensity, says, "Bass solo."


willem
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Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:53 am
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Sun Aug 29, 2010 7:07 am

jim56 wrote:
A man goes on vacation to a lovely tropical paradise. As he is getting off the plane, he hears rhythmic drums in the distance. He figures it's just part of the "native atmosphere" for the tourists like himself and starts going about enjoying his vacation.

By the end of the first day, though, he has noticed that everywhere he goes, no matter where it is, he can hear the drums. He decides to learn what the significance might be, so he asks the waiter serving him at dinner, "What's up with the drums? I hear them every where I go on the island. What do they mean?"

The waiter simply looks him in the eye and says, in a very doom-and-gloom sort of voice, "Very bad when drums stop." and refuses to say anything more about it.

For the rest of his vacation, he hears these drums everywhere he goes, night and day, without stop. Every time he asks somebody about it, they either don't know anything more than he does, or they simply say, "Very bad when drums stop."

Finally, on his last day, as he is checking in at the airport, he finds a local and pleads with him, "Please, you have to tell me what those drums mean! I must know! It's driving me crazy!", to which the local replies, "Oh, very bad when drums stop."

The man's eyes go wild and he finally asks the right question, "What happens when the drums stop!?"

The local, rather frightened by the man's wild eyes and intensity, says, "Bass solo."

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE BAS STOP?? END OF STORY??


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