Clean Musician/Music Joke of the Day

coomba
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Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:29 pm

G'day all
I watched these guys last night at the Melbourne comedy festival (on the tele)and thought you might find it funny :laugh: so I found them on u-tube for ya.
don't worry its clean.
Cheers
Scott


Chasplaya
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Fri Mar 26, 2010 12:54 am

What's the definition of an optimist?


A choral director with a mortgage.


Chasplaya
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Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:04 pm

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?


None--they just steal somebody else's light.


Chasplaya
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Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:29 pm

What do you call a group of topless female accordian players?


Ladies in Pain


Chasplaya
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Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:41 pm

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe; as it happens, in Transylvania. They're driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It's late, and raining very hard. Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding. Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light.

He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??"

"I'm sorry," replies the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him."

Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor. I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries; so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion."

Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty are no more. The Hills' deaths upsets Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music fills the lab, his eyes catch movement. He notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:







You sure you want to know?









O.K. You asked for it......









"Master, Master!... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"
(ouch !!! ...sorry bout that one ...)


Chasplaya
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Fri Apr 09, 2010 7:24 pm

What's the difference between a cello and a coffin?


The coffin has the corpse inside.


Chasplaya
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Sun Apr 11, 2010 5:50 am

What's the definition of an optimist?


An accordion player with a pager.


jim56
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Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:39 pm

What's brown and sits on a piano stool?

Beethoven's Last Movement.


haoli25
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Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:25 pm

Oh Jim....... Image


jim56
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Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:36 pm

Sorry Bill, next one won't be so visually graphic.


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