Just Jokes (Clean one!)

Chasplaya
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Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:03 pm

This actually happened with some guys from Maine .

They dressed the truck up with the guy dummy spread eagle on the roof of the truck.

The driver and passenger put on Moose Heads.

Down the Maine Toll interstate they went causing about 16 accidents.

They went to jail.

Image


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neverfoundthetime
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Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:14 am

Haven't been hear for a while... too funny guys!
The Moose gag is too funny Chas but obviously there's going be time done for that... Obama just signed into law that American citizens can be arrested and held indefinitely* without trial for all kinds of crap... this has to be covered under that piece of legislation!

* No joke! Signed into law on 31st December while everyone was out partying and not a whisper in the main stream media.
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!
Note to Bill: Germans do not forlic! But it is a mind bending mental image ;-).

Nice one Tom!


dsmarion
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Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:25 am

neverfoundthetime wrote:
The Moose gag is too funny Chas but obviously there's going be time done for that... Obama just signed into law that American citizens can be arrested and held indefinitely* without trial for all kinds of crap... this has to be covered under that piece of Nazi legislation!
Preface: no intention to get into any kind of politics arguments here - I won't. This is a guitar site, you can do that other places if you wish. But just food for thought about this.
Please read the section titled:
Actions from the White House and Senate leading to the vote
at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_D ... _Year_2012
The white house was going to veto this until an amendment was added NOT to allow this.


Chasplaya
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Tue Jan 17, 2012 1:02 pm

dsmarion wrote:
neverfoundthetime wrote:


Preface: no intention to get into any kind of politics arguments here - I won't. This is a guitar site, you can do that other places if you wish. But just food for thought about this.
Please read the section titled:
.
Ok I won't read it then lol!


thereshopeyet
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Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:52 am

Thanks


Chasplaya
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Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:40 am

The Arab and the Scotsman

An Arab Sheik was admitted to St Vincents Hospital for heart surgery,
but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in
case the need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found
locally, so, the call went out to all the states.

Finally a Scot was located who had a similar blood type.

The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for
giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & US dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a
corrective surgery.

His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate
his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card
& a jar of candies.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate
his kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab & asked him:

"I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW,
diamonds & money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a jar of
candies".

To this the Arab replied:

"Aye, but I now have Scottish blood in me veins".


frybaby
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Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:26 am

A lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, and ask to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked,"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's says to the lady, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.

That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail!

Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."


haoli25
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Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:42 am

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat.

F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second."

Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.

The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development."

Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

(quit your groanin') :) :blush:

Bill


Chasplaya
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Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:27 pm

Image


willem
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Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:51 pm

Chasplaya wrote:
Image


sssst mate I'm under-cover


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