Guitar Jokes

BobR
Posts: 0
Joined: Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:18 am
Status: Offline

Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:58 am

I'd like to see a thread dedicated to guitar/musician jokes. In the meantime I'll post some in this thread. Enjoy!

Q - Why did the drummer join the band?
A - He wanted to hang out with musicians.

Q - What is the definition of a minor second?
A - Two lead guitarists playing in unision.

Q - How does a guitar player show up for practice?
A - Drunk and late......... as usual

Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

:woohoo:


hutz13
Posts: 0
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:38 pm
Status: Offline

Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:58 pm

OK, another one.

A guitarist goes to a jam with his music buddies. He's having the best jam of his life when he gets a call from the hospital telling him his wife just had an accident and is in critical condition. He feels he needs to go right away but he's having such a great time at the jam. "A few more songs," he says. After an hour or two of jamming he finally goes to the hospital. An enraged doctor yells at him: "Your wife is in bad shape and you may have blown your last chance to speak with her because of your stupid jam!" "Oh jeez, Doc," he cries, "I'm so sorry, I would do anything to see her while I can!" The doc tells him "Aah, I'm just joking. She died hours ago--how was the jam?"


Music Junkie
Posts: 0
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:17 am
Status: Offline

Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:15 pm

Q: How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
A: Nobody knows!

Q: What do you say to a guitar player in a 3-piece suit ?
A: "Will the defendant please rise ..."

Q: What did the guitarist say to his crying guitar?
A: Don't fret!

Q: What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
A: He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

:silly:


FlatPick
Posts: 0
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 1:44 pm
Status: Offline

Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:49 pm

Q: How do you tell if your drummer is at the door?
A: The knock speeds up.

Q: What do you call a guy who follows musicians around?
A: A drummer.


FlatPick
Posts: 0
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 1:44 pm
Status: Offline

Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:30 pm

Nice ones, FlatPick! I love drummer jokes.

Another one:

Q: What's black, blue, and found on the side of the road?
A: A guitarist that's told too many drummer jokes.


FlatPick
Posts: 0
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 1:44 pm
Status: Offline

Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:58 pm

Hey - No threats!!

Ha - I started out as a drummer, then I saw who the chicks went for!!

I used to tell those two jokes a lot. Then when my two boys got a little older, we always talked about a band. My 10 year old said he would play bass, and Dad would play guitar, and younger brother could play drums. The younger son ran off crying? I went to get him and see what was wrong, and he said, "I don't want to be the guy who follows musicians around"!

So I guess I told those jokes too often.


leeson
Posts: 0
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:42 am
Status: Offline

Wed Apr 29, 2009 5:13 pm

That's a funny story. I have 6 and 5 year old boys. We always joke about starting a band--I figure the more hyper 5 year old will be the drummer!

Q: How many guitarists does it take to cover a Jimi Hendrix song?
A: Evidently all of them!


jjohnson63
Posts: 0
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 11:09 am
Status: Offline

Mon May 25, 2009 11:41 am

Q - How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughan tune ?
A - Evidently all of them.


jjohnson63
Posts: 0
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 11:09 am
Status: Offline

Mon May 25, 2009 11:43 am

Q - How do you make a guitarist play quieter?
A - Put a sheet of music in front of him.

Q - How do you make him stop?
A - Put notes on it.


Guitarmom
Posts: 0
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:03 pm
Status: Offline

Mon May 25, 2009 1:23 pm

Q. Why is a heavy metal guitarist like a SCUD missile?
A. Both are offensive and inaccurate.

*****

Q. What's the difference between a rhythm guitarist and a lead guitarist?
A. There is no difference. The rhythm guitarist just looks smaller because the lead guitarist’s head is so much bigger.

*****

Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Pianist. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.

The Pianist says, "Well, I played the worlds largest concert halls, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."

St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"

The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big as a music producer, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Pianist guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."

"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"

The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."

"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What type of guitar did you play?"


Post Reply Previous topicNext topic