A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test.
"How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 1: It is half empty.
Student writes 'pessimist' in his report.
Person 2 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 2: It is half full.
Student writes 'optimist' in his report.
Person 3 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there.
The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor.
"Oh them!", the professor says, "I forgot to warn you about the musicians! They have no personality."
Clean Musician/Music Joke of the Day
The Day I started my job as a musician, I was in the office filling out an employee form when I came to:
Single__, Married__, Divorced___ .
I marked single. Glancing the man next to me who was also filling out the form, I noticed he hadn't marked any of the blanks.
Instead he'd written, "Yes, in that order."
Single__, Married__, Divorced___ .
I marked single. Glancing the man next to me who was also filling out the form, I noticed he hadn't marked any of the blanks.
Instead he'd written, "Yes, in that order."
Chas, I have a question that I think many of us would love to ask: How do you come up with this stuff day after day? Quotes, thoughts, jokes... all clean and related to music. Do you have some unknown "Encyclopedia of Music Related Jokes, Quips and Thoughts for the Day"? Or, perhaps, maybe you have kept a journal from like age 11 and refer back to it for inspiration. Then again-- and it would be scary-- you are simply making it up on the fly. All of this is: 
:cheer: :laugh: :woohoo:
Curious, I am. (and so are you :side: )
:cheer: :laugh: :woohoo: Curious, I am. (and so are you :side: )
Fred I could tell you then I would have to strap you to a chair and get you to listen to my singing for at least 30mins.... Believe me you don't want that 
Over the years (approx 15yrs surfin) on the Imternet I have collated a rather large (understatement) number of useful/useless links.
Over the years (approx 15yrs surfin) on the Imternet I have collated a rather large (understatement) number of useful/useless links.
The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door.
“Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.”
The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.”
The man replied, “I know, but your neighbors did.”
“Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.”
The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.”
The man replied, “I know, but your neighbors did.”
Not a music one today, but I could not miss this one:
No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved 'I love you, Suzy.'
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Suzy quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money-fifty thousand dollars!
Andy said, 'We've got to give it back.'
Suzy said, 'Finders keepers.' She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two RCMP officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. 'Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?'
Suzy said, 'No'.
Andy said, 'She's lying. She hid it up in the attic..
Suzy said, 'Don't believe him, he's getting senile'
The RCMP's turned to Andy and began to question him. One said:'Tell us the
story from the beginning.'
Andy said, 'Well, when Suzy and I were walking home from school yesterday .....'
The first RCMP officer turned to his partner and said, 'We're outta here!'
No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved 'I love you, Suzy.'
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Suzy quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money-fifty thousand dollars!
Andy said, 'We've got to give it back.'
Suzy said, 'Finders keepers.' She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two RCMP officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. 'Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?'
Suzy said, 'No'.
Andy said, 'She's lying. She hid it up in the attic..
Suzy said, 'Don't believe him, he's getting senile'
The RCMP's turned to Andy and began to question him. One said:'Tell us the
story from the beginning.'
Andy said, 'Well, when Suzy and I were walking home from school yesterday .....'
The first RCMP officer turned to his partner and said, 'We're outta here!'
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cosmicmechanic
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What's the difference between an onion and bagpipes?
Nobody ever cried because bagpipes were being cut into pieces.
(actually that was an accordeon joke ... just trying to irritate as many people as possible)
Nobody ever cried because bagpipes were being cut into pieces.
(actually that was an accordeon joke ... just trying to irritate as many people as possible)