Does anyone use their pinky when fingerpicking?
I don't use my pinky at all, but I do recall reading somewhere that Paul Simon uses all five fingers on his right hand. No doubt, other accomplished guitarist do as well. My sense, though, is that it's probably OK to use the pinky if you know you are using it and are doing so intentionally. You mentioned in your post that sometimes you don't even realize that you are using the pinky, so in that case, it's probably not a good technique for you to be using. If I find myself getting mixed up with whatever fingers I am using, I generally find that to be a good reason so slow down and be more deliberate with maintaining home position and/or intentionally shifting to an alternate position.
There is a home position for your strumming / picking hand, but everyone is different. I say, if you can use it effectively, then learn to use it. It will give you greater flexibility in your picking down the road and will make some things easier to do just because you can do it that way.
It's not a required thing, so don't freak out if you can't but there is no reason not to learn how to use it. Heck, I wish mine would work better. I'd be using it for sure.
It's not a required thing, so don't freak out if you can't but there is no reason not to learn how to use it. Heck, I wish mine would work better. I'd be using it for sure.