Just Jokes (Clean one!)

[Chasplaya]

LET ME SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT.

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOUR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO A POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.





IF YOU CROSS THE NEW ZEALAND BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET:



* A JOB,

* AN INTERPRETER,

* FREE LEGAL AID,

* A DRIVERS LICENCE,

* A SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER,

* WELFARE,

* CREDIT CARDS,

* FREE EDUCATION,

* FREE HEALTH CARE,

* DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE

* THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DO NOT GET ENOUGH RESPECT.





I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION

[tom18]

Chas,
I can actually think of at least one other country that treats illegals that way....
Tom

[AndyT]

You sure that's not the US you're describing Chas?

Here is one I just couldn't pass on. Its not my usual sort of joke....

God took my favorite Actor, Patrick Swayze.
God took my favorite Actress, Farrah Faucett.
God took my favorite Singer, John Denver.

Ok, God, I just want you to know that my favorite President is Obama.

[frybaby]

What do you call 20 lawyers sky diving?




Skeet

[jim56]

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

[thereshopeyet]

Thanks

[thereshopeyet]

Thanks

[thereshopeyet]

Thanks

[thereshopeyet]

Thanks

[thereshopeyet]

Thanks